I intended to write a post about how I can be a total yuppie/hipster/pretentious person based on #28 from the Stuff White People Like site.
An excerpt:
The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV……It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.
Don’t get me wrong. I own a TV. I love my TV. Sometimes, when no one is looking, I give it a furtive kiss before I go to bed. The TV brings me such fine shows as “The Hills” and “America’s Next Top Model.” How could I not love my TV?
But I do not own a microwave. HORROR. I heat up my leftovers by either putting them on a cookie sheet and reheating them in my oven or toaster oven, or putting them in a pan and sauteeing them a bit. I learned how to make popcorn on the stove instead of the microwave (yes, really. I didn’t know how.) I heat up TV dinners in the oven–it takes longer, but I feel it heats better.
Now, before you start thinking too much that I am pretentious, it wasn’t a conscious decision. I just moved from an apartment that had one built-in to one that didn’t and never got around to buying one. It was laziness, not pretentiousness.
UNTIL NOW! The New York Times has showed me I too can be pretentious about my lack of microwave…through the sheer effort of saying “omg, you can actually COOK stuff in the microwave.” By writing an article that marvels in the uses of the microwave, (it’s just so plebian), I too have been elevated of the lofty status of those who do not NEED a microwave.
Thank you, New York Times. Perhaps in two months you can write a story about how “there are all these Indian who live in Edison! Did you know that? Make sure to include the word colorful when you write the story.”
ETA: Ah, the NYT also has another food columnist explaining how microwaves work. Very nice. I wonder if that was planned or they both were working on OMG microwave stories and one beat the other.

April 04, 2008 

